


Christmas, Alone

by servecobwebheadaches



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: BDSM, CHRISTMAS TIME!!!, Established Relationship, M/M, Phone Sex, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, Subspace, collaring, dom!Ryan, sub!Brendon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 06:02:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17156588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/servecobwebheadaches/pseuds/servecobwebheadaches
Summary: Brendon's convinced the only thing that could save his Christmas this year is some nice, thorough phone sex while Ryan's away on tour.  Ryan's done a little more to help him out than that, though.





	Christmas, Alone

**Author's Note:**

> what's up y'all?? merry christmas here's ryden christmas version 4.0. please call out any spelling mistakes/grammar errors bc I only had time for part of this to be beta'd. i love you hannah and casey for rescuing the first part of this fic!! come say hi on my tumblr servecobwebheadaches if ya want ;)

Ryan wishes he weren’t so tired as he drags his feet into the hotel room.  Spending the entirety of his day around so many people, playing a full set, and living on an extremely rocky sleep schedule would do that to anyone. He hopes for better sleep tonight, though, in a stationary location all by himself.  It’s a relief from the regular routine of touring. His only holiday wish this year from his bandmates was to have peaceful solitude all through Christmas Eve night to the late afternoon on Christmas day, and luckily, he’s getting it.

 

Despite this, there’s a key component missing to making the holiday  _ happy _ .  He may value the time alone during tour, but there’s something even better in his life that isn’t there.  As he’s in the shower, his mind naturally wanders to the beautiful boy he left at home, all the way across the country.  No matter how much he imagines that Brendon is laying out on the hotel bed, waiting for Ryan to finish showering, it won’t come into fruition, unfortunately.  He wants nothing more tonight than to be able to hold Brendon, but he’ll have to settle for much, much less.

 

Ryan dries off from his shower and puts on his pajamas.  He feels pathetic for it, but he wishes he had brought a shirt of Brendon’s to wear at night, something to remind him of home.  When he looks in the mirror, he sees that he looks as tired as he feels. Regardless, he picks up the phone and calls Brendon. He promised him he would that night.

 

“Hello?” Brendon answers, only on the second ring.

 

“Hi, B.  Did I wake you?”

 

“No, no, I’m up.”

 

Brendon’s voice is hushed and mellow, especially considering how lively he usually acts.  Ryan loves the sound of his voice, and is filled with warmth from it, but he misses the smile he can normally  _ hear _ on the other end of the phone.  He wonders what’s wrong, and doesn’t hesitate to ask.

 

“Nothing, just tired,” Brendon says.  He clears his throat and sighs. “How’s my rockstar boyfriend?” Brendon asks, suddenly donning his signature cheerful tone.

 

“I’m tired too.  I don’t think I’m so good at the whole ‘rockstar’ thing.  But, I’m okay. How’s  _ my _ rockstar boyfriend?” Ryan returns.

 

Brendon giggles.  “Sleepy. And missing you.”

 

Ryan sinks down onto the hotel bed and closes his eyes.  “I miss you, too, my love. What did you do today?”

 

“Well, I spent a little time writing, and then I went to that Christmas party Spencer was having tonight . . .”

 

Ryan totally forgot about the party until Brendon mentioned it.  He feels guilty, because he knows both Brendon and Spencer have told him about it before.  He supposes that with everything going on with tour, it just slipped from his mind. It’s barely even set in that today is in fact Christmas Eve. 

 

“And how was the party?” Ryan says.  He genuinely wishes he could have been there.  It sounded like it was actually going to be a good time; Ryan’s not too keen on partying in most instances. Brendon, on the other hand . . .

 

“It was okay,” Brendon says.

 

Ryan’s surprised by the nonchalant statement.  Brendon loves going to parties—he’s the social butterfly to Ryan’s introverted ways.  Ryan would even say Brendon’s always the life of the party, no matter who’s throwing it.

 

“Just ‘okay?’” Ryan questions.

 

“Yeah.  I mean, it was good, but . . .”

 

“But what?  Did something happen?”

 

“No, nothing bad happened.  I was just—just kinda lonely, I guess,” Brendon says.  His voice has dropped back to a somber tone. Ryan’s chest aches.

 

“Oh, B,” Ryan says.  “Didn’t Spence keep you company?  I’m sure he misses Jon, you know.”

 

“He was so busy, and he just made one little comment about how he wishes Jon were there to help him out, but he seemed so normal, and I—I just felt worse I guess, because everything makes me think of you, and some asshole asked why I didn’t smile more, and I didn’t even want to drink by myself, and there was mistletoe, and—” Brendon’s breath hitches all of a sudden, and Ryan winces.

 

He tries to imagine it, Brendon all alone in a crowd, forlorn and keeping to himself.  It’s not a nice thing to picture, especially since Ryan knows Brendon to be so happy all the time.  He’d rather focus on putting a smile on Brendon’s face instead of thinking about that, so he tries, “I kiss you every single time I dream.”

 

Brendon chokes on a sob on the other line, and Ryan thinks he can feel his own heart break at the sound.  “I miss you so much,” Brendon sniffles.

 

“I miss you too, sweetheart.”  In that moment, listening to Brendon cry over the phone, Ryan finds himself considering cancelling the rest of the tour just to go home to his boyfriend.  It’s only a couple more shows, but still. He knows exactly what would make Brendon feel better. Physical comfort would soothe him, if Ryan could just hold him, stroke his hair . . .

 

“It’s just another week, right?  And then you’ll come home?” Brendon asks.

 

“That’s right,” Ryan says.   _ And I’ll never, ever leave you for this long again _ , Ryan thinks, but doesn’t say, just in case he can’t keep that promise.

 

Brendon sounds so upset, Ryan’s starting to think the Christmas gifts he had shipped to the house for Brendon were a bad idea.  He’s taken time to buy him extra presents, to try to make up for not being there, but some of it is so overtly sexual. With Brendon’s current mood, he’s afraid that those presents might not be too appreciated.  He wants Brendon to be happy when he opens them, and even more wants Brendon to be enthusiastic about what he’s been given.

 

What starts to change Ryan’s mindset on it is when Brendon says, “I can’t wait to have you set rules for me again.”  His voice is still thick from crying, but him bringing up the power play dynamic of their sex life gives Ryan hope that it’ll be okay tomorrow.

 

Ryan hasn’t given Brendon any rules since he left.  He’s let Brendon wear whatever he wants, eat what he wants, have as many orgasms as he wants, given him full reign of all their sex toys.  Ryan thought it would be for the best before he left, as he isn’t able to properly reward or punish Brendon when he’s on the road. Denying Brendon orgasm for so long would be cruel, too.  On the other hand, though, Ryan’s seeing now that all those everyday decisions can become a burden for Brendon. He likes to feel that Ryan has more control over him, likes to give up power.  He tells Ryan that submitting is cathartic for him, beyond just the euphoria of sex.

 

“What rules do you miss following, baby boy?” Ryan asks, trying to be as gentle as possible.

 

“I—I miss asking you permission, and having your approval . . . I don’t want to be allowed to t-touch myself without you, or u-use toys, and I w-want to be—to be punished again, I’m just so—” Brendon’s voice breaks off, as he starts sobbing again.  Ryan hates imagining Brendon all curled up in their bed, tears streaming down his face, all by himself without the comfort he needs.

 

Brendon’s overwhelmed without the structure Ryan gives him.  He needs Ryan to take care of him sometimes, make sure he doesn’t have to do too much decision-making.  Ryan hasn’t been able to give that to him in months, and on top of just being lonely, Brendon’s distressed.

 

Ryan knows exactly what will cure Brendon.

 

He needs to be put under.

 

Ryan’s never done it to Brendon when he isn’t there in person, but he thinks Brendon needs to drop into subspace in order to feel better.  That’s when Brendon will truly be able to let go and relax. Of course Ryan only knows that’s the case when he’s there, when he has Brendon physically at his fingertips and under his control.  But he thinks if he can manage to make Brendon slip under for awhile before he gets home, then maybe Brendon won’t have to go through so much anguish day in and day out.

 

He tries to think of other times he’s made Brendon go under.  It can be hit or miss sometimes. Ryan could have Brendon tied up, gagged, and bent over his lap for a spanking, and sometimes that doesn’t make him fully submit like going into subspace does.  Most of the time, Ryan supposes, he doesn’t. Other days putting Brendon under can be as simple as Ryan telling him he looks pretty, or kissing him a little too hard when they wake up in the morning, and Brendon will just melt for him.

 

Praise, Ryan believes, is more likely to ease Brendon into subspace than any other approach.  Not that Ryan hasn’t had Brendon go under for him during a ‘punishment’ scene; that’s definitely possible, too.  But now, with Ryan so far away and Brendon so wound up, Ryan just wants to take care of him and make him feel all the pleasure he deserves.

 

A few carefully selected words are on the tip of Ryan’s tongue to say to Brendon in the moment, words that would hopefully start to coax him into slipping under, when it occurs to him how late it is.  He doesn’t want to start something with Brendon only to have both of them become too exhausted to continue. He needs to be fully awake and alert for Brendon when they initiate a scene, needs to be able to make sure everything’s going okay for him.  Now is not the best time.

 

Tomorrow would be the best.  Christmas morning, Brendon will open all the little packages Ryan’s had sent to their house throughout the month, and he would be able to guide Brendon through using all the sex toys Ryan thought he might like.  If he could be just dominant enough with him, maybe Brendon would be able to get the release he needs.

 

“Sweetheart,” Ryan says to him, “I think you should get some rest.  It’s really late, and I want you to be able to enjoy your day tomorrow, okay?”  He pictures running a hand through Brendon’s hair, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.  Trying to stop more tears from falling.

 

Brendon sniffles, “Okay.”

 

“Good boy.  And, um, don’t—don’t come again.  Until I give you my permission.”

 

“Yes.  Yes, sir.”

 

Ryan smiles to himself and feels the familiarity of arousal curl in his stomach.  “I love you. Skype me in the morning?”

 

“I will.”

 

They say their respective ‘goodnight’s and Ryan hangs up, feeling a little less lonely, although the space in the bed next to him remains empty.

 

<<<<<>>>>>

 

Brendon wakes up in the morning with a face sticky from dried tears.  He’s curled his whole body up around Ryan’s pillow sometime during the night, and the shirt he usually opts out of wearing to sleep belongs to Ryan, also.  If he thinks about it too much, he misses Ryan so much he aches. He feels it for a moment whenever he wakes up to any empty bed.

 

It only gets worse when he remembers it’s Christmas morning.  He thinks it’s safe to say this has been the worst holiday season he’s had in recent years.  Having Ryan so far away has just left this gaping hole where all the joy in the world used to lay.  Mornings in the winter time, particularly in December, are usually slow, peaceful, with Ryan making the both of them hot chocolate in some snowflake-patterned sweater he somehow manages to make look sexy.  Brendon can walk over to him and kiss him for as long as he wants to and they can spend half the day curled up together. Then they could go together in the evenings to whatever Christmas party they’ve been invited to, and Brendon could watch the love of his life from afar, enamored with the three little wrinkles at the corners of his eyes whenever he laughs, enticed by the very curl of his fingers around the drink he’s holding.  Of course by the end of the night, the sexual frustration would be driving Brendon out of his head, so they’ll go home and Brendon will have no problem getting what he wants from Ryan, may it be getting thrown over his lap or tied up so he can’t move an inch.

 

But there has been none of that this year, and it’s felt like the dullest months of his life without a drop of Ryan to quench his thirst.  Not only has he felt sad and lonely in his day-to-day life, he hasn’t been able to have an orgasm that’s actually satisfied him since Ryan left.  He desperately misses Ryan’s touch, having Ryan inside him, Ryan’s voice in his ear urging him to come. Nothing, Brendon knows, will ever feel as good as what Ryan can do to him.

 

The only thing that could compare, that could even come close, is phone sex.  Brendon’s sure any type of dirty talk from Ryan would affect him even more than normal, now that he’s been so deprived.  It’s not that he hasn’t had the confidence to ask for something like that with Ryan since he’s been away, it’s just that Ryan’s always so exhausted when he has time to talk. Brendon would feel guilty if he were to deprive Ryan of a significant amount of sleep.  He understands how precious every moment of sleep is on tour.

 

Christmas morning, though, Brendon wakes up with his cock already half-hard and the knowledge that Ryan has the whole day off.  Maybe Ryan denying him an orgasm just makes him want it more. Or maybe the dynamic of Ryan dominating him turns him on like nothing else.  Either way, a vague plan pops into Brendon’s head for the Skype call he’s about to enter with Ryan, and it definitely involves both of them getting off.

 

Eager to talk to Ryan, Brendon only momentarily gets up before crawling back in bed with his laptop.  He rubs at his eyes and yawns while he listens to the Skype ringtone, waiting for Ryan to answer. Within a few seconds he’s looking at the moving image of Ryan, slightly grainy on his laptop screen, and he feels himself smile.

 

“Good morning, baby boy, and merry Christmas,” Ryan says.

 

Just from that alone, Brendon’s cock twitches.  “I want to kiss you so bad right now,” Brendon breathes out.

 

“I want to kiss you, too.  You have no idea how much I miss your lips,” Ryan says.

 

Brendon’s head is off thinking the dirtiest possible thoughts, which certainly isn’t doing anything to lessen his desire for Ryan.  He would take Ryan’s cock between his lips, no hesitation, if Ryan were there with him. He squirms slightly, jostling his laptop. “My lips miss you,” Brendon replies, and his voice sounds even more sultry than he intended.

 

Ryan laughs softly and asks, “How are you feeling today, B?”

 

Brendon opens his mouth to reply immediately, out of habit, and then thinks more on it.  Should he be completely honest with Ryan about how he’s feeling? Of course he should. He’s in love with Ryan.  They tell each other everything. “I’m better than yesterday, but I really want some morning sex with you to start my day.”

 

The video quality isn’t all that great, so Brendon can’t tell if it’s real or just his imagination that Ryan’s eyes darken.  “Well, lucky for you, I have something planned.”

 

“Do I get to come again?” Brendon asks, far too hopefully.

 

“We’ll see how good you are,” Ryan answers, and that’s exactly what Brendon wants to hear.

 

He’s in no position to want to really rile Ryan up, to challenge Ryan’s dominance, because he really only does that when he’s in the mood for Ryan to inflict pain.  And he does want that, he’s craving for Ryan to spank him until his ass turns all shades of purple, but he’s just accepting that he’ll get nothing of the sort today.  He bites back any bratty comments he was thinking of firing back at Ryan and thinks instead of how deep down, he wants to submit to Ryan. He wants the control taken from him, wants Ryan to tell him what to do, and to simply obey.

 

“I want to be good for you,” Brendon says.

 

“I know you do, sweetheart.  Let’s start a scene, okay? But there are a few things I want you to do for me first.”

 

Brendon’s curiosity spikes at the idea of starting a scene.  He wonders what Ryan can do to him from across the country with nothing but his voice and subpar image quality via Skype.  With how willing Brendon is to obey Ryan’s every wish and fully submit to him, though, they can probably mimic a scene quite well.  The only crucial piece missing is the physical sensation of Ryan’s hands on him . . .

 

But Brendon will just have to do without.  Ryan has his full trust, and Brendon is eager to agree to do anything Ryan wants him to.  “What do you want me to do for you, baby?” Brendon asks, still trying to be seductive, although it’s clear his few earlier words were effective.

 

“Since it’s Christmas, I think it’s about time you opened some of those presents I got for you,” Ryan says.

 

Now Brendon’s finally happy that today’s Christmas, instead of just feeling so alone.  He’s been wondering what’s in all those boxes that have been showing up at the house for him. Ryan’s looking at him with his bottom lip between his teeth, and Brendon feels his insides go all warm.  He can’t believe how attractive Ryan is, how he just makes Brendon want to sink to his knees. It feels so good to have Ryan’s attention.

 

“Which presents?” Brendon asks. There’s a pile of them in the living room.  Surely Ryan wouldn’t make them both wait to come while Brendon opens each and every gift.

 

“There are a few special toys waiting for you, baby boy.  I want you to find the boxes that aren’t labeled from any website.  Go ahead and open those.”

 

Ryan bought him new toys?  Brendon feels dizzy with arousal already.

 

He carries his laptop out to where he’s been hoarding all of Ryan’s gifts and sets it down on the table.  His messy hair falls in his face as he bends down to sift through all the packages, purposefully sticking his pajama-clad ass out towards his camera.  “You look so perfect,” Ryan says, as Brendon straightens with an armful of three small boxes.

 

Brendon makes eye contact with Ryan through his screen for a moment before Ryan begins eyeing him up and down.  He realizes Ryan’s getting a full body shot of him now, standing in front of his camera, and he feels sort of foolish in what he’s wearing.  Ryan’s shirt is a little too long on Brendon’s shorter frame, and his pajama pants are a size or two too big. He takes it as an opportunity to tease Ryan, though, as he slowly begins to inch his shirt off, swaying his hips.

 

“You’re such a pretty little thing, B.  Go on back to bed with your presents before you finish stripping like this for me,” Ryan says.

 

Sometimes, Ryan is so naturally dominant with Brendon, it’s almost nonchalant.  Brendon doesn’t even think of not following Ryan’s orders. “Yes, sir,” Brendon finds himself saying, immediately gathering his things to go back to the bedroom.  Instantaneously, Brendon feels some comfort in the idea of Ryan taking charge over what he does. It’s a weight off his shoulders to be able to give himself over to Ryan like Ryan’s allowing him to do right now.

 

Brendon sets down his presents and his laptop on the bed, repositioning the camera to continue the show he’s putting on for Ryan.

 

“Good boy.  Now let’s see those gorgeous legs of yours,” Ryan says.

 

Brendon’s sweatpants and boxers fall to the floor.  His cock is fully hard now—Ryan never fails to be able to get him going with just a few words. Ryan’s looking at him with such an intense look of lust, Brendon could blush if he weren’t thinking such dirty thoughts about what he wants Ryan to do to him.  Ryan’s fixated on the lower half of Brendon’s body, but Brendon’s not surprised in the slightest. He’s rubbing his hands over his hips, gently swinging them, as he would if he were on his way to give Ryan one of his signature lap dances.

 

“Careful, B,” Ryan breathes, “or you’ll get me as hard as you are.”

 

Brendon wraps his hand around his cock at the acknowledgment.  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

 

“Well, today’s all about you, my love.  My poor baby is all alone on Christmas—I wanna make you feel good.”

 

He strokes himself while Ryan talks, circling his hips into his fist.  Ryan could make him come quite easily, just like this.

 

Brendon’s surprised with how easily he’s getting away with it before Ryan says, “Mm, that doesn’t mean touching yourself without my permission.”  He abruptly stops, but a small, embarrassing whine does escape him. The more aroused he gets, the more difficult it is to contain his noises. It’s only a matter of time before Ryan’s got complete control over his body, and he’ll only be able to do the things Ryan tells him to . . .

 

His eyes drift away from Ryan to the boxes on his bed where he was laying only moments ago.  “Do you still want me to open something?” Brendon asks. He’s surprised by how breathy his voice sounds.

 

“Yeah, B.  Let’s see what you open first.”

 

Brendon props himself back up in bed against the headboard and takes the box closest to him.  He rests his laptop on the mattress for Ryan to look at him from between his legs. Physically, his position’s comfortable, but he realizes how exposed he is to Ryan.  This whole time, Ryan’s been watching him, wearing a hoodie, completely composed. Brendon’s naked, cock so hard it’s starting to hurt, splayed out on their bed, waiting for Ryan to tell him what to do.  He’s at his most vulnerable, and each time he obeys an instruction of Ryan’s, he feels more and more submissive. Ryan alone has that power over him.

 

With little difficulty, Brendon opens the box and takes out the object inside.  “Oh, sweetheart, I hope you like it. It’s a good one. They’re real diamonds,” Ryan says, as soon as it comes into the camera’s view.

 

It’s a collar—black leather trimmed with small, sparkling diamonds.  The silver tag that’s ringed on the front has the initials ‘R.R.’ engraved.  He runs his fingers over the bright stones and leather, awestruck that Ryan bought him something so extravagant.  “Ryan,” Brendon gasps, “it’s so pretty.”

 

“Put it on,” Ryan says, voice low, smooth.  Brendon wants to drown in it.

 

He does as Ryan tells him to, the leather firm around his throat, the buckle cool on the nape of his neck.  He shudders at the feeling. All he wants to do is press up against Ryan and be fully claimed.

 

“You’re such a beautiful boy.  I’m so happy you’re mine,” Ryan says.

 

“I miss you,” Brendon says, and it comes out as more of a whine than anything else.  It’s just that usually, whenever Ryan gives him a collar, he sits Brendon on his thighs and buckles it on himself.  The mere brush of Ryan’s fingers on his skin always amplifies his arousal. Nothing is the same without him there.

 

“I miss you too.  I’m so sorry I’m not with you,” Ryan laments.

 

“I want you to touch me so bad.”  He puts on his best pout, as if that would change anything.

 

Ryan sighs sympathetically.  “Maybe something else you open will make you feel a little better.”

 

Brendon nods and reaches for his next present.  The packaging comes undone, and Brendon finds—

 

“Just something new to hold you over until I get home.”

 

The new sex toy in Brendon’s hand reminds him of how hard his cock still is.  It isn’t lined with diamonds, or made out of gold, but Brendon knows he’ll get more pleasure out of it than any of those things would bring him.  The vibrator is long, thick; shaped like a cock that rivals the size of Ryan’s. Brendon would love to use it, to get the same satisfying, full feeling that Ryan can give him.  Of course it won’t feel  _ as _ good as when Ryan fucks him—he can be sure of that.  He’s aroused at having something new and so big that he can pleasure himself with, but it definitely doesn’t send him into the same desperation Ryan’s cock can.  Right now, he thinks he could crawl on his knees and beg for Ryan’s cock if Ryan were standing right in front of him—quite literally, Brendon’s been driven to that point before—but he’s not.

 

Nevertheless, he stammers out the words, “Can—can I use it now?  Please, please, sir, I—I promise I’ll be good.” His cock is starting to leak from all these thoughts about Ryan’s cock and having something inside him.  He wants to feel pleasure like that, finally.

 

Ryan denies him, as Brendon expected he would, but he’s very affectionate about it.  “Not yet, baby boy. I want you to see your next present first.”

 

With a new motivation, Brendon eagerly grabs the third and final gift he brought into the bedroom, and tears it open.  The sooner he gets it open, the sooner he’ll be getting stretched open, vibrator pressed into him, working him up more and more until—

 

He never finishes his thought, as it occurs to him what he’s holding.  Ryan’s given him some special sort of cock ring, something Brendon’s never seen before. Regardless, he knows what’s about to happen to him now, knows what Ryan wants him to do.

 

Ryan wants to watch him fuck himself but make sure he’s not able to come.

 

Brendon almost complains, because he feels like he’s been turned on for so long already, it isn’t fair, but he want to obey Ryan.  Plus, he knows if he’s good, Ryan will reward him later.

 

It just so happens to turn out that Brendon’s wrong.  “Try it on, B, make sure it’s not too tight. It should be a little loose on you, okay?  I want you to be able to come,” Ryan says.

 

It’s a Christmas miracle.

 

Brendon gets the lube out of his bedside table and slips the cock ring on.  It slides on smoothly, and he knows he’ll be able to come with the right amount of stimulation.  Quite quickly at that, Brendon thinks, then feels slightly humiliated at how easy he is for Ryan.  He’s always been that way.

 

The material of the cock ring is thicker and more plastic-y than normal, but it barely feels like anything around Brendon’s cock.  He’s starting wonder what the point of it is when Ryan gives him his next command.

 

“It’s about time I made you feel good, lover.  Go ahead and turn it on. Just try not to come immediately,” Ryan instructs.

 

Turn it on?  Brendon takes his cock in one hand to take a closer look at the cock ring, and right at the top, sure enough, there’s a little button with on and off settings.

 

He flips it on, and within seconds, an involuntary moan escapes him.  Suddenly there are vibrations being sent all around his cock from this little ring, and Brendon’s never felt anything like it before.  He gracelessly falls back onto the bed from how he had been sitting up, his eyes rolling back into his head. His fingers are curled tightly in the bedsheets, and he can’t stop the sounds he’s hearing himself making from falling past his lips.  All too soon, he feels an orgasm building within him, and oh, how he wants to let it happen.

 

At the last minute, he rushes to flip the switch and take the cock ring completely off.  His cock twitches weakly from the orgasm he ruined himself.

 

“You’re such a good boy for me.  I thought you might do something naughty for a moment there, but you’re just perfect, aren’t you?  My pretty little angel,” Ryan praises.

 

“I want to be perfect for you,” Brendon says.

 

“Oh, you are, B.  So I want you to be taken care of.  You’re going to get yourself off using all the new toys I bought for you, and just because it’s Christmas, and you’ve been so good for me all year, I’ll let you come whenever you want.  I want to watch you pleasure yourself with my gifts to you. Okay, sweetheart? You don’t need to talk, just show off for me, my pretty boy.”

 

Brendon’s seriously starting to think he could come just from Ryan’s voice, full stop.  He feels close, with the way Ryan’s talking to him. He’s Ryan’s, he’s giving into him completely, wanting to do everything he asks, obey him completely.  The feeling makes his brain go a little fuzzy, so it’s a relief Ryan doesn’t need him to talk. All Brendon really needs to think about is Ryan, Ryan, and what Ryan wants him to do, which is to simply pleasure himself.

 

He’s a natural performer, though, and he doesn’t even have to think about it to put on a show for Ryan.  He rolls over on his stomach, making his ass the focal point of Ryan’s view, propped up on his elbows. He looks over his shoulder to get a look at Ryan on his laptop screen, and Ryan’s finally starting to look a little breathless himself.  Brendon’s happy with what he’s doing to Ryan just by laying there; he can only imagine the reaction he can get out Ryan when he starts to use his toys.

 

Brendon lubes up a couple of his fingers and preps himself, right in Ryan’s line of sight.  He mindlessly rolls his hips into the mattress as he fingers himself, any friction to his cock greatly appreciated.

 

“Fuck, B . . . you’re so hot.  Such a good boy . . . mm, I wanna fuck you . . .” Ryan groans.  He’s only encouraging Brendon to continue rutting into the mattress, faster, as he keeps turning Brendon on even more.  Brendon’s content to simply rub himself off, just like that, until he realizes he wants more in his ass than just his fingers.  It just isn’t enough.

 

He pushes himself up on his hands and knees, repositioning to give Ryan a full body shot again.  His collar looks reflective sometimes on the laptop screen. Ryan’s eyes are looking at him all over, but Brendon’s faintly conscious of his bouncing cock, so hard and nearly neglected between his legs.

 

“You’re too pretty to not be getting fucked right now,” Ryan says, and that’s Brendon’s permission to pick up his new vibrator.  He turns on the vibrations first, before beginning to inch it in. He’s trying his hardest not to collapse onto his front. It feels so good, just to have some stimulation to that ring of muscle.  Even though he wishes it was Ryan’s cock he was feeling inside of him, wishes he could feel Ryan’s hands gripping his hips tightly, this scenario will more than suffice.

 

It isn’t long before he hits his prostate and lets out a shuddering moan.  “Oh, does that feel good, sweetheart?” Ryan asks. The vibrator stays pressed directly against Brendon’s sweet spot, and he moans again, incapable of anything else.

 

Soon, he needs more.  He reaches back to start truly fucking himself with the vibrator, almost frantic.  “I’ve got myself a little cockslut here, don’t I?” Ryan says, and that’s exactly how Brendon feels: slutty.  Desperate. He needs this, needs Ryan’s praise, needs to come. Nothing else matters. In the moment, this is exactly where Brendon’s supposed to be—fucking himself on camera, for his and Ryan’s pleasure.

 

“Baby boy, I want you to turn that cock ring on now.  Can you do that for me?”

 

Of course he can.

 

As soon as the vibrations start to both his cock and prostate, Brendon knows it’s over.  There’s no turning back. He’s going to come, supporting himself with one hand, thrusting a vibrator into his ass faster than the muscles in his arm can handle.  It’s all beyond his control. Vaguely, he thinks he can hear himself moaning, borderline sobbing, with how good his whole body feels. The engraved tag on his collar keeps making this light  _ clink  _ sound whenever the muscles in his neck move in the slightest.  And there’s Ryan, Ryan’s voice, sighing and moaning with him sometimes, telling him how pretty he looks, how good he’s being.

 

“You’re all mine, baby boy, all mine,” Ryan says, and Brendon’s orgasm is going through him before he can even think of delaying it.  He collapses, as was inevitable, hips jerking while he comes, and comes, and comes, positively ruining the bed sheets. Everything goes white in his vision, then black, and he’s far too gone to comprehend a word Ryan’s saying to him.

 

It must be minutes later when he wakes up, as if from a very, very vivid dream.  He’s coming down from a familiar high that he can never quite place in the moment—complete submission.  Ryan had successfully put him under.

 

The first thing he hears is Ryan’s voice, trying to get his attention.  “Brendon, Brendon. Brendon, I need you to listen to me, sweetheart. Are you okay?  How are you feeling?”

 

Brendon blearily tries to focus on Ryan’s face moving on his laptop.  “Ryan,” Brendon mumbles. He feels exhausted.

 

“Hi, my love.  You really passed out for a moment there.”

 

Brendon hums in agreement.  “It was worth it,” he says.

 

Ryan chuckles.  “Good. It was worth is to watch you.  But now that you’re awake, and I know you’re still really tired, so I’m sorry, but you need to go get yourself some water.  That was intense for you. And get something to eat, your body definitely needs that.”

 

Brendon’s never been in the position of having to work for himself after a scene.  Ryan usually sets all that up for him before they even get started, but now, Brendon’s on his own.

 

It’s a struggle to get out of bed.  His legs are still tingling from his orgasm.  When he sits up, he feels a little more together, and then even a little more composed as he stands to follow Ryan’s instructions, although still somewhat wobbly on his feet, and just slightly lightheaded.  Ryan’s right, he definitely needs water and nourishment of some sort. He always knows exactly what Brendon needs.

 

Just as he’s leaving the bedroom, he notices the Skype image of Ryan.  Before, when Brendon had first called, Ryan was wearing a hoodie, but now, with Ryan staring up with him, he notices Ryan’s shirtless.  “What happened to that hoodie of yours?” Brendon asks.

 

Ryan visibly blushes, even with the poor image quality of Skype.  “You made me get come all over it.”

 

<<<<<>>>>>

 

Ryan has a show booked for the second day of January, and a flight to go home scheduled on the third.  Then, he’ll get to be with Brendon, interruption free, for months.

 

Some of the best news Ryan’s ever received is unexpected.  He wakes up on New Year’s Eve to an email from his booking agent, stating that the festival in which they were booked to play on the second is cancelled due to poor weather.

 

Ryan doesn’t even reply to the email, doesn’t even check the weather, and doesn’t even call Brendon.  He just gets on the first plane home and arrives in the late evening on the very same day. He carries two bags of his personal belongings and takes a cab directly to his and Brendon’s house from the airport.

 

Brendon’s decided to host a New Year’s Eve party this year, so by the time Ryan gets there, it’s already plenty busy.  It gives him the perfect opportunity to surprise Brendon.

 

Ryan walks in his front door to find the place hustling with people and loud music booming.  He wants to find Brendon before others spot him, but he’s having to scan through everyone to try to find him.

 

He finally catches sight of Brendon in their kitchen.  Brendon’s standing at the counter, his back to the entry, pouring drinks for people.  Ryan’s too excited to see him that he doesn’t even wait for Brendon to be done making the drink at hand.

 

“I’d love a glass of bourbon and some ice, if you have any,” Ryan whispers in Brendon’s ear, sneakily wrapping an arm around him from behind.

 

Ryan doesn’t finish his statement before Brendon turns around and leaps straight into his arms.


End file.
